Replay

2010-01-03T00:04:00.002+08:00

2010..so fast..what have i been doing for 2009? Haha at least..i found a job. Not that useless right? And..shit..iam 23 this year! Omg. When will i be turning straight.

Family : Nothing change. They still neglected me as usual. Kind of like immune to it already.

Friends : I love them:)

Love : I might lost her anytime, any moments..but now..I shall let it be this way.

2009-12-28T23:18:00.002+08:00

At least..iam happy that you faced your feelings. Isn't it very cruel to lie to your heart? So is the brain evil?

I know things now are not that perfect..but iam contented. I don't dare to hope for more. Just you by my side. That's enough. It may sound silly..but at least that's what i feel now.

Hmm worried..because after we part..you didn't reply my message..was thinking..is your mum questioning you? Are you safely home?

Just a message to let me know that you are fine..

2009-12-18T00:33:00.003+08:00

幸好这里还有我的一个小小世界。

If everyday you will to tell me you are afraid that one day you really can't accept everything, if one day you still can't bring yourself step out the steps. If one day here and there.. I wonder when will i collapses. If everyday you will to think about negatives stuffs, then how do u able to make yourself believe and do it?

God please..make us together.

Because we are stuck with each other.

2009-12-14T00:53:00.002+08:00

I didn't know that i will have the chance to hold your hand. I don't know how to face myself actually. I always asked you this question.. What are we? Your reply is always..very good friend, best friend..bleh bleh..the lastest answer from you is we are Soulmate. But I just get to hold your hand yesterday. Why? Because you feel really touch by all the things i've done for you or you do not know how to reject it?.. Or..do we actually have a chance to proceed on? And..yes, i will be your 1st and only girlfriend and your 1st relationship? The answer is clueless..totally.

I feel quite troubled actually. I know i shouldn't hold your hands but I can't help it..my heart totally control every of my brain cells. If at that point of time, you rejected me by pushing my hands away, things will be much better off for us but..u accepted it. So?..

I know...iam totally defeated. Sink too deep. Drown again. Sigh~

2009-12-12T01:12:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i just wonder why i don't have the time to be alone in the office. Sometimes i just wanna keep myself away from the others. But people care, people asked. I know its bad n rude to reject concern from people n so..i can't be alone.

I have been quiet for about 3 days. Keeping away from you, having thoughts..thinking all by myself. Hopefully my feelings just fade away. But...you tried asking me again n again. I've got no choice but to be happy today because its your bday celebrations. I can be happy if i want to..i realized that:) But deep down..i know it myself.

Keart, you are totally defeated.

Glad that you like my card :) Thank you:)

2009-12-06T01:53:00.002+08:00

My saturday mood was...bad. I don't know why. Maybe just some people spoilt my day by saying some stupid words. I don't know why i have to take up all this shit. And its always me who doesn't fight back. But..how i wish i could fight back. I can't because she likes her very much as a friend. So? Everything bound back to me..and i got to take it.

Sometimes..i wonder what am i to the people that likes me or the people i like.

Sometimes..i just hope my brain is better then my heart. If that's so, i won't be feeling so often of the sharp, intense pain in it.

2009-11-29T23:40:00.002+08:00

I don't like the way iam being treated as transparent.

I don't like the way that you think you can live without me but i can't live without you.

I don't like the way that everything is following of what you think.

I don't like the way that without you, my life is incomplete.

Vitamin C, let me tell you this. If i will to given an options :

1. I wun even bother to take a 2nd glance of you.

2. I wun even bother to let anything goes according to you.

3. I wun even let u have a sec chance to think that i can't live without you.

We will chatting in the message then suddenly our topic is about a guy. Then you said actually he's quite caring towards me..those small actions and stuffs like that. OIE! IN YOUR EYES, YOU HAVE ONLY OTHER GUYS. WHAT ABOUT ALL THE THINGS THAT I DO FOR YOU?! DO FOR EVERYONE?! Did you ever comments, tell, or praise me? FUCKING NO. WHY?! Because you don't see it! Everything..EVERYTHING that i do is just a bubble burst out in the air! Isn't it?!

Arghh iam damn pissed. Fuck!

2009-11-15T01:52:00.002+08:00

First of all, i wanna thank every of my friends for wishing and celebrating my birthday with me. There are some part which iam really touched. And its a long celebrations! From wed to sat. Ok! start from wed..

Hmmm Since mon and tue iam on leave so wed i need to do OT. Hahah my ot end around 8pm then i took a cab to east coast park for bbq~! Its a celebrations for twin :) But they include me too because twin bday is e same as me! Bbq was fun with all the crapping, songs, cards and laughter! Went bowling after the bbq and i did score better k! :)

Thurs! haha went, ktv with xyt, terri, max, dean and twin! lols..Realise really nice. Then clubbing after ktv :). Haha and twin was so excited counting down to our bday. Went home around 2 plus because got to work the next day :(

Fri! Met Manda, dar, wanxin, brenda, grace and bt:) haha we had dinner at asian kitchen and when we are done with our dinner, they intend to ask the waiter light up the candles and bring the cake to me but the waiter just bring the whole cake to me without lighting the candles. Haha and they were so nabei! brainless lo. Haha cos the gang intend to gave me a surpise. Went pub to chill after tt :)

Sat! cousins day :) 5pm to 7pm dinner at Aston then 7.30pm to 12am ktv then supper is the last stop :) Its fun la! We all enjoy it with all the pics and videos taking! haha.

Finally bday celebrations finished. And its like so tiring can! Lols..have been waking up early and coming home late. Thanks for all ur presents:).

Dean and gang - Thanks for the company. Lols all the mahjong sessions, supper..lols alot alot.

Dar and gang - Thanks for the cake, speaker and cracking of brains of where to go. We share sadness and happiness together. We share the same songs, we face the same probs. But when i see all of us sitting together with smile on our face, the happiness just came out from the bottom of my heart. I hope we can and always be like this :)

Xie yu ting - I know you wun be able to see this post as you don't even know i got a blog but i still wanna thank you for all times on my card although then present is abit girly? but still, i like it alot because its from you :)
____________________________________________________________________

I think i got thousands of words which i cannot say infront of you. My feelings is so strong that i cant even lifted up myself. I don't know how to handle it but to face it everyday but iam so tired and i can't avoid. Recently, my heart have been so honest with me. Keart is the name of my heart. Keart have been feeling so honest when i can actually feel pain all of the sudden. When you told me, ur department maybe moving to the 4th floor instead of staying on the 3rd floor with us..i was feeling so fark up yet disappointed. I was so pek cek over it. Because the thought that i wun be seeing you every mins and sec, i feel so insecured.

My feelings now is like 10 over cars crashing together. I wanna show you my real feelings, i wanna tell you how i feel but i cant..because i tried that and i failed. Tell me, how do you actually put down your feelings towards me just by few days? We did agreed that we are just close friend. Tts the reason why and the reason tts holding me back. I cant show you iam jealous, i cant asked you who are u msg-ing and i cant tell you how much i missed you when i don't get to see you. All this! I cant show it! Just because we are bloody close frens and just close frens. Nth can be extend right? Tts wat u said to me. I will rmb it. But xie yu ting..u know how much i wanna tell my how miserable iam? You are not me. You are not..you can nvr understand.

And i think i love you.

2009-11-11T00:59:00.003+08:00

Not been updating for a very long time..lols i know that. I don't know why, wherever i tried to type something out, my feel of typing is suddenly gone but today..was different :)

Work 1st..hmmm convert to full time already. I wonder is this just a phrase of my life or?..still not that sure of what iam looking for. Is it same for everyone to have this kind of thinking and way of handling life?

Love..haha too many things to update. LOL..really..

Alright..i saw something just now that really really pissed me off. I got a good friend last time but it has been like 3 or 4 months not really contacting each other? She leave some comments. I hate it. She always ALWAYS say until she freaking poor thing of people neglecting her la..bleh bleh bleh. Can she just have a mindset of how old is she already?! Still behaving like a fucking kid. Its not that friends don call her out. It's because she's always NOT FREE when friends asked her out then now..no one asked her out. Who can she blame? She say what we heartless la..damn full of shit. Maybe she will wan to think about it before commenting?

Pissed off.

2009-10-19T02:16:00.002+08:00

Alright..i should be happy because iam on mc today! Iam unhappy because iam sick -_-" Down with flu and cough. Sometimes i wonder fever will be better or cough will be better? Lols.

Anyway, I don't know whether i will be given a mc for tues anot. Most prob yes? But the thing is, i want to go work anot?

Sigh sigh sigh~

2009-10-15T23:42:00.002+08:00

I think its pretty much obvious how things are.. i tried not to show it but it just came from the bottom of my heart. Somehow i cant seems to control my actions, cant control words coming out from my mouth. I definitely hate myself for this.

2009-10-11T02:03:00.002+08:00

I feel so glad that i manage to leave you. Or rather you make the right decision. Feel that you didn't change much at all. Or rather didn't change at all . Still so whiny...princess. Like the whole world must live, or rather survive because of you. Of cause you can say that, what right do i have a say about you? But just..看不过去. And this is my blog! Lols.. no la..just a comments that have been keeping in myself for quite a long time. I hope my next girlfriend is not like that? If not i will be thinking, why is my relationship always seems so pathetic. My cousins said: oo sooner or later she will be dump by "her". I don't know why am i saying this..but just sudden pissed off.

And weekends really end fast. Now is already sunday. I hope iam sick so i can take mc on monday. Really. Plus, i really really don't want to face her. We accidentally drift together and now, iam going to drift apart accidentally. Ok? plss...zean promise yourself you will do that? You won't properly be so into a girl right? Plus she's the most not attractive girl among your friends! RITE?! Lols... Anyway, received a call from dean just now telling me that joanna's dad has passed away. For god sake..sigh~ poor girl. She's so young and i hope the burden won't be on her. And iam really quite worried for her. I mean as a friend. Because, if iam her..i can't take it as well. Hope she's doing fine. This takes times...MUST BE STRONG OK!!!

Iam hungry now :(

2009-10-07T22:52:00.002+08:00

谜底

几天的猜疑，有了结局
想太多，
我们都属于那一句
很肯定自己的证据
考都不考虑
告诉我
那是一种肯定

如此美丽的结局
成为心里的一种酷刑
成全也许让你无法呼吸
闭上你的眼睛
把我给忘记
不再让你有任何迟疑
就这样
结束之间的话题
连空气都变得好安静

歌词是我们之间的秘密
彼此都知道歌词的谜底

2009-10-07T00:10:00.001+08:00

I think iam in a very confusing stage right now. Lols. My decision, my words, my actions can change within a sec. Ok this moment i might say i like you, but the next moment i look at your photos, i got disgusted. -_-" terrible right? I think iam.

I don't know why am i like this.

Give me an ans!

2009-10-05T21:16:00.002+08:00

Well i didn't know my jokes could actually let someone feel betrayed.

2009-09-28T23:04:00.002+08:00

Lols i thought its kind of something between us but i guess i were wrong. But when i guess everything was just one sided and everything was wrong.. you proved it another way round again. Wait..hold on.. i think the game shouldn't be play this way. I want it to be another way round. Which means, i want to be the one in control of everything. When i said it, i mean it. The game shall start tomorrow.

2009-09-28T00:28:00.002+08:00

I drag myself to work everyday..every single day. Freaking job. The overturning rate is too high. Why is the management so badly organized? I don understand. Why the people there so..unpredictable? Don't understand either. I can't but kept thinking what will happen after G is gone. What am i suppose to do? What am i not suppose to do? What is the things i should do and what is the things that i am not suppose to do. My job scope including? Clueless. Totally.

I think i have to drag my driving lesson again. Sigh~ Family problems is never solved and there's no solutions to whatever problems that i am having. One fucking problem just appeared all of a sudden and my dad cash is running low again. I am curious.. Problems started with her not being a good wife so him just neglected the family or him neglected the family so her started not being a good wife?

Ps: Whats so difficult stepping out of the closet?

2009-09-21T23:25:00.002+08:00

Went out with sharon and regina today. They wanna shop for their clothes..but ok la..going out with them quite fun for me..we seems to have lots of jokes around. Hopefully..nothing goes wrong. Haha

Sometimes i wonder does fairytale exist? Because they sound so fake to me but yet people do believe. So what is the ending of the human life story? Okk i know iam being damn random. I doubt anyone can understand me.

Was having a conversation with a guy today but we have a different objectives in life, views from a relationship. Some words from tt guy are actually quite true but what really pissed me off is that the arrogant accent from that guy and a very promising answer from him to prove that actually not all guys are like that. Seriously when a guy started to fight back..means..guys are forever guilty of something so they urge to fight back. Well..perhaps iam wrong? But whatever he do or say really freak the girl out. Anyway the girls is just beside him.

So by the end of the day...only left me and the girl. Hmmm..alright..don wanna continue anymore. Don think so much..nth happens. OK? :) just that iam too lazy to type out..lols

2009-09-09T23:48:00.000+08:00

Today was a simple day for me :) And...quite happy when unexpected things just happen! Anyway, i like my name..:) i know its random but few people told me that 'zean' was quite unique in a way and a lot of people spell it as 'zinc' Lols.

I don't like her but kind of adore? Her natural self, her courage, and she seems to fark care everything that's happening around her. That's the 1st impression that she gave me. Colleague walk past me and go their own way, didn't even bother to say hi or what..so..ever. Well, that's none of my business and that don't actually bother me. But..she.. She tap on my shoulder, wearing spects, looking so blur, with a lovely dress. How nice :) Smiling at me saying hi. Maybe i don't know her that well but she's the only one who did that compared to the other people. To me, she's just that different. I hope she's not one of the actress in mediacorp? Speechless when i saw her.. but yet..the excitedness in myself. Trying to find topic but..but.. i stone there for a sec. Hahaha. Of cos! i straight away told dean and twin what happen when i met them. :) :)

Oh and! She's the only person who didn't talk to me about work when we chat. I like that :)

*Hot milk before sleeping :)

2009-09-08T23:55:00.000+08:00

Work was just damn disappointing. No matter what i do, how i do...i seems to be getting back to the main point. What's the point? I felt this way because things that iam suppose to do is going back to the point where it start which is No Point. Esp for my leader! I was so damn pissed off being taught by her can. 1stly, she can't express herself clearly and she sound like she knows everything and she did a lot of things. Ya i agree she did quite a lot of things but she can't even handle herself and her emotions properly. N I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE TAUGHT BY HER! Because i don't know what the fark she is talking about and when she have to repeat what she said, she will say.. 哎呀！气死人啊。Hello people, i was like thinking.. 是谁气死谁啊。I hate her face. But i got to act like she's my angel infront of her. I know I'm fake but no choice. Is either you die or i die. So before i got kill by people, i won't kill them but i buy a life jacket for myself. Its just that bloody simple and this is life.

Ok..gonna continue with what's going on after work. Lols. basically...nth. Ha Ha! Went to visit sheena at her work place at wisma. Can't really find anyone for dinner and stuffs but on the same time, i need to walk around and suddenly~i thought of her. Haha bleh bleh, she's still the same..lols. How innocent and happy life she's having. Not like my life..无间道.

Last sat was an enjoyable day! Thanks to dean and twin. Lols..make me feel that i'm not wasting my time on my off day! Lols.. Play mahjong, watch dvd then dinner at east coast. Hee :) Yup! of cos there's photos and i shall upload some of the past photos too :)

2009-09-04T00:19:00.002+08:00

Tt day after we took our lunch, we went ion to walk around and we pass by a shop and when i first stepped into the shop, i was totally attracted to the cameras in one corner. so nice! but the one tt i think iam most attracted to cost over 200 bucks. expensive right? YAAAA...but totally fall in love with it.

2009-08-25T22:22:00.001+08:00

星期二的办公室日子过的没有很愉快。因为呢。。从开工的第一天起，就听见很多闲
言闲语。每个中午吃饭时间。。加我，有五个人。下个礼拜起。。只剩下两个人了。
其他人都不干了。昨天认识了一位新朋友。。一个孩子的妈了。他给我的感觉跟众
人不同。跟他聊起话来，感觉很舒服。。满多话题聊的。但是，下个礼拜一是他的
最后一天。悲哀啊。。。可怜的我。能不能就给我一点期待上班啊。至少，有个志
同道合的朋友也好啊。

昨天梦见了她。梦里的我又被他欺骗了。是不是命中注定要被骗啊。

2009-08-22T01:07:00.000+08:00

上班论

办公室的无味
形容着白开水

人人背着一个虚伪
呈现在最前面

钟针指向十二点
是休息时间
走着走着走着
下楼抽一两根烟

动作重覆了一百遍
神都觉得累
马上要我停止一切
爸妈就掉眼泪

世界要我为谁而活
答案没浮现
等待只能等待
降临的机会

2009-08-18T23:25:00.000+08:00

I will be starting my new job as an admin assistant on thurs. This coming thurs. Franking speaking, i don't want it to come so soon. Iam not ready. Not prepared for everything. This may sound useless to some people because to them..its just an admin job. Nth else but to me, its a totally a very different thing. haixx...nvm.

Anyway, my bro went to "chalet" few days ago -_-".

haixx..

Fark everything

2009-08-13T23:49:00.001+08:00

首先。。要分享一个好消息！我找到工作罗！下个礼拜四开工。希望能学到更多东西。
还有，希望他们对我能有多一点耐心。我学东西超慢的。

第二件事。今天。。我去了小幼稚院当代课老师。感觉满好的，小孩子们都很很很
可爱：) 说话也非常的厉害。千言万语都无法形容那一种感动。

渐渐的长大，接触的事务也变多了。自然而然的感情，思想也慢慢有点后悔了。但，
没办法。一定要坚持下去：)

2009-08-05T00:31:00.000+08:00

这里是让我感觉到安全感的第二个地方。前天跟两位朋友去了海边。。本来说是去散
散步，刚好朋友车上有风筝。。所以就拿来放了。从来没放过风筝的我，那天是第
一次。奇怪吧? 从小到大。。都没尝试过放风筝得滋味。当然！我的风筝飞不起来。
哈哈！但是。。有了朋友的帮忙，没一下就飞起来了。风筝刚要飞起来的那一种满
足和快感。。真的很享受。飞起来后，越来越高。。越来越远。看着天空白云，仿
佛自己好像被他们迷住了。好美。。。好美。这时候的宁静，是任何言语都无法形
容。

起程的快感 -飞翔的宁静

2009-07-30T01:11:00.002+08:00

Seriously, the "murderer" show..make me feel that iam actually 10% of xin li bu ping heng. Its is because the expressions and actions of that show make me feel so uncomfortable! Kept thinking about it. Some of the scene is damn gross can! And this show prove me that when a person is under a depression or damn stressful time, he can do something which he will nvr do it in his/her whole lifetime. Its just like a angel in your heart and a devil in your mind. The main actor got depression after the show because he himself can't even get over of his own "jiao se". And he's undergoing some conselling i think. That's wat my fren told me. The storyline i gave it..hmm maybe 7 over 10 because some of the part isnt that logical afterall. But the acting, expressions and guessing i will gave 9 over 1o. Nice show but...just don't think too much after watching it.

Aright! didn't blog for quite a long time. I can't rmb what i've been doing for those days. Only thing that i rmb-ed is i wrote something about myself and for my parent.

逃避着现实的恐惧
情感浮现着心虚
该对爸妈说的那句Sorry
迟迟没办法继续

已被失败区点了名
放弃成了下一句
朋友给于的鼓励
召唤在人生舞台演下去

Its a half done stuffs. But ya..some of my thinking and feelings :) Goodnight everyone!

2009-07-17T13:53:00.000+08:00

有些事我真的搞不清楚。无论我做什么说什么都是我的错。我几乎就是零点八先的不
重要。等一下妈回来又要被挨骂了。

他们几乎什么都要管。管得着吗? 看到他们就觉得厌烦。夹在大嫂跟老人想法的中
间。。这种痛苦几时才会过去啊。大嫂的想法，个性，态度可能不是一般有年纪的
人能接受的。但是，他们无可奈何啊。小孩可能是那无辜的一个，但又有什么办法
呢?日子还不是照样过。发生的事如果是在我们的能力范围之外，那我想。。就算了
吧。

不管事情变得有多糟。。总好比在外头有另一个人好吧。

2009-07-14T02:51:00.002+08:00

Why every part of the moments for this person is always so dull? Is life that miserable? Hmmm i think so? I felt this way too but not every mins and secs.

Anyway, haven been feeling well today.

I feel like iam going to have a fever soon.

Shit.

2009-07-12T00:49:00.001+08:00

我只是有个很简单很简单的要求

不要把我当做小孩

我知道每一个人都对我有种想法很感觉

幼稚的想法，长不大的感觉

其实。。

我。。真的并没有这么差。

2009-07-08T02:50:00.002+08:00

今天有的感觉跟以往相差有一点的不一样。该怎么说好呢?

听什么歌都觉得还满伤感和厌烦的。是太累了吗? 还是不大喜欢磨人的字句。

但又不能太直接。。只能说，我不喜欢尴尬的场合。

还有，毕竟是个女生。。。。。。。。

。。。算了，这段就漏掉它吧。

从她的部落格看到了两句话。。

"决定了就不要后悔"

"做了就不要后悔"

听起来有刚烈的感觉。。有多少人其实能做的到这两句话的要求?

很少吧。

2009-07-05T00:30:00.001+08:00

如果有一天，自己的双脚不能在用了。。怎么办?

最近脑海里总会浮现些怪怪的想法。

奇怪但有说不上来。

2009-07-04T02:14:00.001+08:00

有时。。浮现的情感是现实的

有时。。浮现的情感是甜蜜的

浮现的情感被搞混了

怎么办呢?

什么时候知道被搞混了呢?

当你知道你在吃醋的时候。

2009-06-23T01:00:00.000+08:00

气到一个点！

我不知道要怎么形容那一种气也不知道怎么形容我有多气。

但是，就是很气！

我知道很多事情往往都不会随自己的想法和意思去行事。。

所以。。只可以看开一点。

911，有人在吗? 救我。

2009-06-22T01:30:00.002+08:00

Went to browse past pics...HOW NERD! -_-zzz gosh to the max can! Anyway...

I just don't know what to blog..

就每次不知道要写什么才好。能不能有人给我一个标题啊。。。

2009-06-21T01:31:00.010+08:00

电脑算好了吧。。这几天都在忙新电脑还有找工作的事。日子吗。。平平凡凡咯。前
几天跟两位朋友去钓虾：)

_________________________________________________

平凡人，唯一不平凡的机会是什么?

2009-06-14T23:57:00.001+08:00

My house comp is getting on my nerves can! so bloody slow. Irritating... and my comp can restart by itself can:) so bloody good. shit to the max..haixx

Update soon! when i got my new laptop:)

2009-06-06T03:32:00.001+08:00

都怪书包太重！本来是有离家出走的念头。。可是，我的阿姨都不怎么配合。还有，
书包真的好重，所以打消了这个念头。好没有骨气！！哈哈回想起来，真的真的很
笨。。不过又很好笑。与家人的关系并没有改善。没有关系！独立又不会怎样。。
反而，还满好的。

过不久，就是新光PK赛的AUDITION。会去帮朋友加油吧。对他们还满有信心的。对
了，刚才跟几位朋友去吃宵夜。。我们的话题真的很好笑！哈哈哈。你们看，这又
是一个金钱买不到的东西。那叫作，快乐的时光：)

现实跟快乐，哪一个会先到？你们又会先选哪一个？

2009-06-03T02:43:00.002+08:00

Currently watching benjamin's button. Quite a draggy movie i think but the content is unique and its from a real life story i think. Heard people said that. A human growing from old to young. How does that feel ya? If you are him, how will you feel and how will you react to it? Patient is the key to the movie because its really a long story. Haha:)

Today weather was damn hot! I feel so uncomfortable even by just sitting down and worst..i only got a fan with me..arhh i seriously need aircon! Weather has been like this for over a week or so right? Haha went blog hopping just now and i saw some words which gorgeous mention in her blog. She say something like this.. 90people got swine flu and most of the them wear a mask out..but 100people got aids but no one wears a condom. Lols..its very logical you see and i think its very funny. Haha..gorgeous!! hello! hows life? haha

I've got 4 off days this week..wonder how my manager actually plan the schedule -_-. Anyway, on bad terms with my parent recently. Not even talking to them at all. Hmm maybe 10 sentences the most? I wonder how long things will be continuing like this. Lols..but i feel better not talking to them. Anyway...good nites!

Random...

2009-06-02T02:09:00.001+08:00

两个问号
两个对比
笑了两次
接下来呢
反正知道接了什么反正
反正
够了没
21年
_______________________________________________________________________

多数的人患上犹豫症因该不会承认自己已经患上了吧。我的妈妈就是一个可能性。
也不知道是不是患上了但我觉得多数是吧。如果真的是，希望能找到医生跟她淡淡。。
不然她还没疯掉，我可能会先疯吧。别人说的话。。她听不进去。老是活在她自己
的世界。。然后就会想很多，把她想的当成现实的事情来看待。几年前到现在。。
一直重复一样的故事。。我自己也听了N百遍了。

超累的。

死去的婆婆，请你托梦给你女儿。。叫她看开一点吧。不要埋怨到好像全世界欠她
似的。
______________________________________________________________________

宇宙的空

彼此的爱还不够
穿梭在寂寞宇宙
眼泪不停的流
无法及时拥有

整个时空的温柔
逗留在我心里头
努力为爱而奋斗
让我们的心说出口

等著你来找我
告诉我你想念我
空气变得很稀薄
弄得我快不能活
抛开你心里的执著
停止脆弱的脉搏
等著你来找我
应为知道你爱我

2009-05-28T00:32:00.000+08:00

现在的我，头很痛。明天九点就要开工了。还是跟那个死人“纳死”一起开店。什么
都不知道还自作聪明的混球。他做的事情我都觉得还满荒唐的。死人“纳死”

脾气超暴躁！可能是应为头真的很痛吧。是时后要去睡觉了。还有，关于爸爸的事。。
我终于了解是怎么一回事了。他是那个被冤枉的。可怜的爸爸。

2009-05-22T01:26:00.000+08:00

如果要去追求自己的梦想，首先要先证明自己能在这个社会上生存。这个定义是一定
要有的吧。这样子，别人对你基本的信任就先达到了啊，然后他们可能就会让你去
做你想要做的事吧。这几句话说的不是很肯定，但。。目前为止，只能这样子啊。

懒惰真的是我的致命伤。哈哈。。拖了又拖。时间一分一秒的过去。当然，很多事
都在变，唯一不变的应该是我对音乐的热诚。哈哈，给你们一个问题。如果你在工
作的途中有了灵感。你会选择放弃工作还是放弃灵感呢？:)

2009-05-16T03:39:00.000+08:00

应该有一个多礼拜没来这里了吧。这个地方算是我第三个心房。这一阵子对我来说都
还满累的。自己本身知道不是工作上的问题而是说不出来的复杂跟茫然。对莫些人
来说，只要不把事情想的太复杂，一切就变得比较简单化。是这样吗？周围的环境
就那么的单纯吗？我，还没有目标。。每次到了这个转弯，都对自己还满失望的。
还在道路上寻找的我有时还满怨恨自己是怎么被带大的。因为，我不曾做过自己爱
或想做的事。目标对我来说已经是没有意义了。因为我知道它永远都不会实现也不
可能实现。

刚看完了一部戏。戏名叫做“星光传奇”。戏里的一点一滴，流过的汗与累，是感
人的也是我很想一直去尝试的一样东西。还有，一个人说了这句话。。

“不变的是改变”

要从那一个角度去看或想？是什么意思？

最近还满欣赏一位女生。是从星光二班的。她叫“曾沛慈“。可爱！哈哈哈！不过
最欣赏的还是她的歌声。我真的觉得还满不错的。有空的朋友可以去听一听。

美丽的歌声总不能错过吧？ :)

2009-05-07T18:16:00.002+08:00

Wanted to blog yest for i was just too lazy..haha. Anyway, went out with ruiling and grace yest after my work. Haha for kenny roger for dinner. Hmm was kind of like disappointed with their food because i think its not very nice. Not up to my expectation. Went arcade after that as we really got nothing to do. Haha slack around, watch them play. After thinking for a long time, we decided to go for bowling as our final destination. haha! Bowling was super super fun can. Hahaha cause me and ruiling was like totally stranger with the ball and we challenge who got the lowest. Haha she's the winner! hahha. 1st round was really bad but 2nd round improved :) I think bowling is the thing tt make everyone so happy.

Today is my mum bday!! But she wasnt quite happy i think? Because of my dad la. I plan a dinner but my dad is like want to go then don wan to go and my mum was super pissed off. But now ok la..we are going dinner later and play after that wif frens:)

Ps: Happy birthday mummy! although iam not an apple in ur eyes, although you love brother more, although you care for him more but the love you gave me..although not as much but i still love you. Although iam working part time now..sound so useless but i will try my best to giv u the happiness and love that you want. Nxt time if u are old and brother finds you a bother, i will always be there to hugs you and welcome you. Stay with me:) and i hope you enjoy ur bday:)

2009-05-05T02:15:00.001+08:00

Dream girl :) haha I know you guys will be telling me to dream on. Hahaha

2009-05-04T14:28:00.001+08:00

Taylor Swift - You belong to me

2009-05-03T23:27:00.002+08:00

Lols i got a super duper ugly pic in my whole life. Haha thanks to twin. I can only remember what i did from thursday onward. Went town with dean, twin and pew...supposed to go for ktv that day but its super ex because of the public holiday eve. One person is like $32? So went to watch movie instead. Brought the tixs already but some stuffs cope up so i gave up that movie. Anyway, the show was fast and furious. But its ok:) everything is worth it.

Fri..hmmm went for movie after work. Fri the 13th. Haha dean gonna kill me if next time i introduce this type of show to her again. Hahha but ok right? at least betta than the show "love" haha

Sat..Went mahjong at dean house. Haha lost $1.90. Bad headache yesterday. Tsk~
______________________________________________________________________

When i make the first move, its rejections again. Of cause, you might have your own reasons and stuffs like that but its all excuses. If you want, nothing can stop it. And what? All of you just kept quiet waiting for me to call? msg? Dream on, Iam not going to do that again as i've tried so many times. Cherish or not. Its not up to me. I've tried to cherish but only me.

2009-05-01T00:40:00.002+08:00

Pride and ego

I hate it when the pride and ego is too much. Been feeling quite down recently of all the stuffs happening around me. Sort of iam not include inside but when i see it, the feelings is terrible. Plus have been feeling so tired recently. Iam not that sure iam tired of what but just the feelings is not right.

Face

Why is your face popping up in my mind all of a sudden? Whenever people telling me similar stuffs, there's always a way to link back to you.

Coldest person

Haha coldest person that i ever met? ya That's you.

2009-04-29T02:16:00.002+08:00

Just came back from ktv-ing. hahaha shit i think i got twin's habit. Like to create own words. Haha alright! met up with amk hub gang just now..i think its like donkey years since our last ktv session lo. Its fun but iam a little bit too tired. haha

Iam missing all my friends and iam looking forward to my pay day can which is end of next month -_-".

Ps: I love the song "a little bit not too over you".

2009-04-27T01:30:00.003+08:00

Weekends just past so fast..and its mon again. Have been eating alot since i started working at cedele. Haha *guilty* Anyway, last thurs went out with my cousin. Supposed to meet 2 of them but 1 of them just too busy with his school stuffs so left me and ningzi which is my cousin:) Then we were like slacking for the WHOLE day. Lols..totally waste of time but ok la, we slack together :) We are so close~love her:) I forgot what i did on fri and sat already..just remember went to meet ailin and friends for dinner on sat. Hee..

Today woke up quite late..slack at home till evening time then went to my grandma house. Haha she cook chicken rice:) Nice k. Around 8 plus went amk hub to fetch apple from work then cab to mediacorp to meet dean and twin for supper :) Twin is so funny~haha watever words that came out from her mouth seems to be so wrong then she was like : ok la! don wan to talk le la. Hahha! and!! i got pics to post up!!. hahha. Anyway, thanks ailin for driving me home most of the time :)

Pics time!

hahaha! she's playing with the camera then turn out to be like this..

Dean~

Twin~

Apple~

My friend is a vampire :)

2009-04-24T00:00:00.002+08:00

Staying over at my cousin house today :) then go straight to work tomorrow! Seeing all my friends starting their poly life...iam quite envy...hmmm at least they won't be getting stress from the social life. But of cos, they have their assignment, presentations, exams and stuffs like that but no matter what, it is always better to study then working.

Hehe i miss studying actually..hahha:)

2009-04-23T02:20:00.005+08:00

Yawnzz..2 plus now..in the morning and i don't really feel sleepy at all! Reached home around 12 plus, dinner and chilling with liqing and friends :) Feel so good hanging out with them. They are always so nice and considerate people :) and liyun, take good care of yourself please..lols you look so shag totally. Haha but i know you are damn happy when i said you actually slim down alot. Haha Actually..I LIE!!! hahah no la! kidding kidding!! haha

Suddenly strong wind just came around 11 plus ah? Haha lots of people have been discussing it in facebook. Lols.. luckily it rains because the weather is super hot nowadays. My grandma have been feeling sick recently because of the weather..she kept complaining to me she's having a headache :( Shall visit her real soon.

I think i have lost quite alot of my friend's contact..hmmm not a good thing.

Some random pics :)

Manda, grace and me :)

LOL! twin!! saw it? hahhaa

I love this pic :)

Ps: I miss you

2009-04-20T01:17:00.009+08:00

Iam starting my first day of work tomorrow! Vivo cedele :) Hmm quite worried that i might not be able to did a good job. Well, iam a slow learner.. haha and basically, that's what i really hate myself for that. No matter what it is, i will do my best tomorrow!

I realised if i stayed home on sat and sun, i will be eating for the whole day..haha that's what i do on yesterday and today. I've got nothing to do at home so i start searching for food and stuffs. Alright! Went to watch seventeen again! Haha zac is cuteee! But i think the whole show was just abit too draggy and the ending wasn't that nice as i expected. Haha After the show, me and my friend took the lift down to level one and guess who i saw? Hahha i saw diya and carrie :) They was like telling me that this is the second time they watch this show so to them was like "seventeen again again". Hahha fun peeps.

Alright update some photos which we took in the chalet :)

Me and Joanna :)

They are enjoying themself..haha

They love this pic! and i think its nice too :) cute!

Dean and keely:)

Jumpy!

Jo's idea :)

Sheena and shermine :)

Jo and yuyang :)

Jie di :) hahha insisted!

Yuyang

Having fun ok!

Drinking games start!

Yeah~ :)
-End-

Ps: Hope everything goes well tomorrow :)

2009-04-18T00:18:00.002+08:00

Trying to upload some photo albums in my facebook but the connections are simply just too slow! Seriously iam pek cek lo! Wasn't in a very good mood since i came back from the chalet. Very bad temper.. arhh! Lots of things waiting for me to decide but i can't make up my mind!

Ok..went to the chalet yesterday! :) Haha me and twin went there first. We thought it will be very boring but...!! hahah NO! Its super fun!! hahah! We can go crazy with just the two of us there lo seriously. After booking in, we went E hub for arcade then lunch then fairprice to buy some mixers..because dean is bringing alcohol! After buying everything, me n twin watched a show called "Quarantine" in the chalet. Not just the vcds and us k! still got Tacopachi and Sushi! hahha We seriously enjoying ourself while waiting for the rest to arrived. Jo is the third to reach, follow by sheena and shermine. Then...dean, yvonne and khim. We start playing games like snap jack and stuffs..haha but the most excited-ness game of all is the PIG! hahha..tt game..seriously..hahha must be jian enough lo! haha and the dinner for yesterday is PIZZA! haha Not bad but just too oily :)

Around 11plus, the chalet only left four people which is..Me, Dean, Keely and Jo. Slacking again..but luckily, yuyang came around 1am then we start playing cards games and of cos, loser drink :) hahha.. around 6 plus, sheena and shermine came back to the chalet. But that time..hmm..everyone was like preparing to sleep? Due to all those alcohols. Haha..but anyway, yuyang have already gone home by then. So left shermine, sheena, me n jo playing the drinking games. Haha...in the end..i also die. Hahaha..

Basically, the chalet was quite fun..although it sound not really convincing by reading my blog. But!! pics will prove it alright!! Will post it up after i got the pics :)

2009-04-13T16:06:00.002+08:00

Sat -

Went downtown east with twin! Haha went there to book chalet. Actually wanted to personal book it but the NTUC card member need my Da Sao to go there personally to sign the paper so got no choice but to online book -_-" stupid right!! haha might as well book it at home.. After booking, went for the nice chicken rice twin recommended. Not bad :) Took a cab down to vivo after that..you guys seriously can't imagine how mad are we in the cab. Laugh like no business. Hahah..And i took a very classic pic of twin! hahha Shall post it up soon! hahha

Sun -

Went dean house around 4pm..slack there for awhile then off to bishan for dinner. Went Mediacorp after dinner :) Yest was the css grand finals. Haha Yup..backstage was quite fun..the way they do things and stuffs. Haha After everything end, went supper with yuu, jody, dean and twin! hahha

Joan -

This paragraph is esp for joan. Hahha as what i promise her. hahah I haven see her for a very long time. SHE BETTER CALL ME OUT LO. Hahahhah! And she last min msg me yest that she's going to amk but i wasnt free to go down so can't meet her. Hahah Today is her first day of sch. Wonder how is it ah? Hahah And she still owe me one dollar. Hahhaha!! kidding la.. Anyway joan, jiayou for ur studies and you can always call me if you encounter any problems :)

My new lyrics -

爱错了人

眼真真看着现实的残忍
不能强求的缘份
最后的结局还是分

疼你或许不是我的责任
请你发现我有那一种天份
你爱得到底是那一个人

一个拥抱很重要
不代表不会被困扰
对你感觉很奇妙
不计较等待有回报
心里爱错了多少
只有眼泪能体会到
忘了你
我必备要知道

2009-04-11T00:09:00.003+08:00

Yes! looking forward to the dinner! haha but i don't which day are we going to plan the dinner. Lots of things still not that confirm yet..but...hope it will be soon? Somehow..i realised..we just got to see each other for like one time a year? Haha. Lets make it two times this year. :p

Ok! This paragraph is for xinhui! haha..how are you dear? Getting on fine? So many questions for you can! I missed the times we used to go for supper after work with huiting too. Remember? How is your studies getting on? Jiayou ok.. And of cos! i know u miss me too right! haha..We miss you too! Amk hub changed alot. Shops changed, people changed and i no longer working in linc anymore. Ok! Hope to hear from you soon! And rmb to bring me some Tai Yang Bing from taiwan k. Loves!

Anyway, went to my auntie house today. Saw my cousins...HMMMM..still as pretty :) *opps* something creepy just pop out in my mind. hahha! i believe Ai lin will know wat am i thinking about. Wa Ha Ha. After that went to meet my ai lin at vivo! haha..Chill awhile then home :)

Ps: Its simple, straight but i like it. :)

Ps: I guess lyrics will be up soon!

2009-04-09T02:56:00.002+08:00

Nevermind.. i think i will just skip that two tomorrow and start all over again. Iam tired..

Anyway, went sentosa today with dean, keely and agnes. Quite fun :) and my hand is pain after the volleyball games.
____________________________________________________________________
Quand je mets des geryjryjns pâles pour savoir quelle nomination d'iarrtjhrtjm, je le ferai dans une autre langues. Espérer qu'ilhjrtjryjs ne découvre pas quel iam efjfjrjhrtrgjrtyjtssayant en fait de dire.

Zufluchtsort ist fühlend gute für Vergangenheit eine Woche plus gewesen. Nachdem auflöst für um ein halbes Jaefedfhrefefnoldjkf, habe ich nie so tief in einem Mädchen vor gefühlt. Ich kann seinem eftewunklugen sagen, weil ich nur gekommen bin, das Mädchen für ungefähr eine Woche zu kennen? Vor zwei Jahren hat iam zu ihgfjhfgjryfjr aefheoajnfngezogen, wenn ich zefjkeoifuerst meine Aufsdfgen auf ihr liege. Ich weiß nicht, warum aber die besonderen Geefeffühle ist nur dotgjhrthergnwilrrt aber zu der Zeit, ich lasse das nicht denken, dass ich sie kennenlernen werde.dfhdsjfnho Nach zwei Jahren, der kürzlich ist.. ich bin gekommen, dieses Mädchen durch meinen guten Kumpel zu kennen.
Gekregen haar nummer. ..i was zoals. .wow..and ik niet geweten heb dat iam voor haar beetje bij beetje alledaags ben gevallen. Wij hangen uit met een groep van vrienden, mijn waarnemingen, geef om en betref.. ik weet zijn rechtvaardig haar. Na heel sommige tijden wanneer ik weet dat zij een vriend kreeg.. ik was zoals.. arhh zzz. Maar kom het te denken aan, ook al zij geen vriend, de persoodsfn heeft waarvan zij houdtsdf zijn mijn vriend. Zo dat geenefsdaf kwestie wat, is alles slechts geen geen naar mij. Wesgfeserd door haar van cos. afgekeurd. woorden dat dsfsdfzij slechts zei voegt zout in mijn wond todsfe. Ik voel niets dan pijn..

Вчера .. думал, что я мог болтаться с нею, но она отклонила высказывание, она не присоединяется к нам. Iam, все еще думающий о чувствах. Разочарование. Как ... ardfgsdfghhh! тогда приятель ведет меня к harbourfront для риса утки, но приятель знает, что я хотел видеть ее alot, и я предлагаю, чтобы ... дали девочке запрос и сказали ей, что мыchica una llamada y dicho ella nosotros estamos alrededor de b tan la preguntó enfriar hacia abajo. Pero al fin ella lo pdfuedsdfgsdge hacer tan yo realmente dsfgsdno estuve como tan jodsdfddsfsfdafddsgser feliz entonces yo me didsfsdf cuenta de mis sensdgsdfgtimientos para ella que sendsffcillo aunque. Bien ydafo me siento mal estasdgsdgr pero sólo un palabra. Sadsfadeñorita. Iam arrepesfntido.

Non dsfsdnon so l'iadsfsdm l'uomo breve, grdafdsasso,, che intelligendafadfte. ..infdsfsact indsfsdfsdftelligendsafte a tutto. Ma sudsfo che nodsfdsfn vodfssdfsdfsglio. Il Plss.. mi nota.

2009-04-05T01:57:00.002+08:00

HMmmm.. haha iam quite stuck with what iam going to write. Mind blank. Oh and Joan told me to block my memories.

Every areas need to take into consideration. But how? and why? Can everything be simple?

Guess there's no tomorrow.

2009-04-01T02:04:00.002+08:00

Hmmm look like haven been blogging for the past few days...haha i was out everynight..staying over at friends house..chilling. But on the same time, i haven been neglecting my jobs as well. Still searching though.. Ok anyway, i forgot what i did for the past few days..totally forgotten. I only remember what happen yest:)

Went out with my friends...hmmm for lunch, games, movie, dinner then movie again. Haha the game was scary :( hahaha but its fun. As for movies..we watched unborn and something something to the witch mountain. Haha totally cannot remember the name. New clique of friends was really fun..hahha and happening! hahah They are so onz about the game la!. hahhaha Oh well..Jian Zha De Ren. Hahah

Arhh i want a printer..i need it.

2009-03-27T01:38:00.002+08:00

Phew just killed a cockroach. Its big can! Stupid mum just care about her sleep. The cockroach from her room somemore lo! Luckily its died. If not i can't sleep knowing that a cockroach is in my room -_-.

Seriously i think today(Fri) is not a good day. Just a feelings..no why. Oh and..i gave up the headhunters job. Just some personal reasons..

My aunt is coming back today..maybe later in the night time? And i can see her son! :)

2009-03-26T04:11:00.002+08:00

I don't know whether did i choose the correct way by giving up the headhunters job. Alright...for most people...this is what they think. At least i got a job, an income. But for me, what i really want is actually a experience rather than a pay. I know money is important but the headhunters job don't have a basic...they only earn by commissions. Well..per head is $1500. Sound alot right? But there's few steps to go through. 1st..make cold callings. 2nd..arrange an interview with our clients and show them those foreign workers resume and let them pick which worker do they actually preferred. 3rd..send in their resume and help them apply for work permit of stay pass. Last of all, its all depends on whether their work permit and stay pass is being approved. After everything..still need to see when is the earliest time that the worker can actually come spore and work. There's alot of what if. What if their pass don't approve? Then i got to restart from the beginning. What if they take quite long to reach spore? What if clients not happy when they start work? Will i still get my pay? How long will i be able to get my pay? Right...i have the confidence i can do it..i have the confidence i can catch a deal. But the matter is..how long am i going to take that? Can i leave without pay for a month? Or maybe two months? And what kind of experience will i be having? What should i wrote on my resume? Headhunters? Why can't god just give me a proper job with a stable income and its office hrs? Why do i always get that kinda shit like commission based thing, credit card sales..they have a quota to reach, if not..i must stay back in office to complete and if i don't reach their target they are going to cut my pay or company like they don't pay OT for people who don't work overtime. Why do i always get all this shit? Seriously, i hate to gave up the opportunity i had everytime... but I've got no choice...and people keep saying that why don't i go and look for a job. How to? Are they very sure that iam not looking for a job? I travel till damn tired...did anyone saw that? No...they based on what they see from the outer layer of mine and do they farking know that iam that stress up? My saving is running lower and lower...Iam more stressful and worried than anyone of them out there can.

God heard that? If yes...please help. Thanks.

2009-03-25T01:03:00.001+08:00

Stupid but sweet :)

2009-03-24T15:52:00.002+08:00

Haha! I slept for about 13hrs today! Feel so draggy now. Going gym later! If not i think..i will be busy going for try out job the next few days. I feel so hopeless about my job already...lots of people are telling me...just any jobs will do but maybe for now, find a sales job 1st...but the thing is if i will to do sales again, i will be wasting my time again..so maybe after one year when iam out looking for jobs again..i still won't be having any experience. The only hope i have seems to be gone too.

Went for ktv yest..and i realised something. Somehow i don't have the courage to face the feelings that iam having. Or..rather..its both of us.

我可以永远笑着
扮演你的配角
在你的背后自己煎熬
如果你不想要
想退出要趁早
我没有非要一起到老
我可以不问感觉
继续为爱讨好
冷眼的看着你的骄傲
若有情太难了
想别恋要趁早
就算迷恋你的拥抱
忘了就好

I think my memory is getting from bad to worst. I tend to forget things real fast. For example, when i see something that interest me..i can forget it the next min -_-" Bad right? oh dear...

2009-03-24T00:23:00.005+08:00

Alright! Some photos of the campus concert i went to on last sat :) All talented people :)

Their Rock poster :)

Keely :) I think she's very pretty that day.

Joanna! Haha She got the inner beauty in her :)

Yiyuan and Dean!

Campus 4 princess :)

Together :)

And after everything, there's a small autograph session!

Haha that's all for the concert!

Like what i mention earlier, I only slept like 2 hrs yesterday..then went to play basketball with Dean, Sheena, Brenda, Apple and Joan. When i reached home, my mum was like asking...Why are you so tan suddenly?! Haha. Met them around 11.30am in the morning then went for breakfast. Reached the court around 12 plus? The weather was super super super hot...it BISS through my head. Hahaha so we decided to rest awhile and went for some COLD stuffs. Haha but luckily, there's a court near Vista point so we change our location to there instead. Was fun :) again...laughter, laughter and laughter. Dancing super model..hahha..i guess its something very cool right? haha Went Ktv in the night time then went mac to chill after that and i just reach home not long ago..

Ps: Joan no worries about the court thing alright! :)

Ps: Hope everyone enjoyed themself:)

2009-03-23T10:24:00.001+08:00

At dean house right now...i think we were so farking tired because we slept at 7.30 in the morning..and we just woke up not long ago...zzzz

Bball lata!!

Wohoo!

2009-03-22T01:13:00.002+08:00

The Concert was awesome!!!

2009-03-20T23:10:00.003+08:00

Hmmm today was a very homely day. What did i do? I woke up at 1.30pm today and started watching my shows till evening time. N suddenly...my inspirations just came and :) new lyrics up! Joan started the lyrics and i make abit of changes. When i completed the lyrics, i was so disappointed with the work and i tear it up in 2 secs. Anyway...the "not yet edited" lyrics was a nice one :) Sweet, touching, sound so gentle. Joan keep it up :)

Went Jalan kayu for dinner after that...with apple. Super full can..just not much appetite. Going for career fair tomorrow...and after that going campus reunion concert! Wo hoo! So excited about that. I remember the last concert i went was S.H.E one and that one was super nice too k. Looking forward for dean's performance too! Because she will be singing Lai Bu Ji by hebe as one of her concert songs :) Hope i got a good view :)

2009-03-20T01:49:00.002+08:00

Went to watch street fighter today...ah chong recommend it i think? Its super super super not nice. Nothing nice at all. The only thing that is nice is only chunli face. That's all. And she's pretty :)

Went for lots of interview these two days. Very tiring can...repeating things over and over again. But still, no good jobs.

Ps: She's walking through the raindrops. Never close, not even once.

Ps: :)

2009-03-19T01:41:00.003+08:00

Lots of songs :)

2009-03-19T00:15:00.002+08:00

今天真的真的很累阿。可能是昨天太晚睡了吧，最近都在失眠。而且，昨天做的都是
恶梦。今天醒来就去面试了。然后，现在又睡不着了。鸡蛋！

今天跟电视台的朋友出去，可能这个比喻很奇怪。。不过就是在电视台认识他们就
对了。哈哈。很开心，我们聊了很多。。就觉得，以前的事情真的很难为情但又超
好玩的。不过，我说了十句话。。应该八句都有提到你的名字吧。哈哈

Seriously lo...my gastric is driving me crazy...feel like vomitting for the whole day and don tel me iam pregnant because five people have already told me that -_-". Haha..

So random...chinese and english -_-"

2009-03-18T01:35:00.001+08:00

Not that biss anymore :)

2009-03-18T01:31:00.000+08:00

I think i suddenly got the BISS feelings in my heart

2009-03-17T23:19:00.000+08:00

一转眼我们都分手了差不多有半年了吧。我记得分手那天是我们最后一次见面。之后，
根本就没见了吧。每次口口声声埋怨这个埋怨那个，谁知如果再次遇见你的话。。
我会有什么反应，什么表情。哈哈

最近遇到了一些与感情有关的事情。。前一阵子，心情还满复杂的。幸好，我还满
了解我自己的。

此刻的心情应该没有那么复杂了吧，自己的想法与心情都有了一个答案。的确，观
察是很重要的一点。。而且，时间占有一定的重要性。。所以，我自由了而且我也
不在乎了！

今天跟几位朋友出去，还满愉快的。还有，今天也去了爱情海。。照样的，我还是
很喜欢听歌的那一种感觉。那简直是一种享受吧。不过，今天唱的好像都是满旧的
歌。哈哈。。我知道你们要说的是：还满适合你的吧，因为你也是老人阿！哈哈
是不是？？

PS：遇到了一件事令我非常的意外

2009-03-16T13:14:00.002+08:00

Why started it when eventually you ended it in your own way?

2009-03-15T14:20:00.002+08:00

Suppose to meet manda and weiqi for dinner later but when i woke up this morning, i feel pain all over my body and i realised iam having fever -_-" arhh

Ps: Manda, dar sis..so sorry k. Dar sis pass u the story book next time i meet u. So sorry!

38.5% -_-

Raining raining raining...

2009-03-15T01:36:00.003+08:00

So should we blame the rain?

:) Everyone seems to be so emo suddenly.

2009-03-14T00:49:00.004+08:00

Haha went to eat ice-cream with apple just now :) Super nice. Banana Spit :) As usual, she kept telling me how handsome is her shuai shuai tutor and how well he can sing. Haha..well, since he will be singing in the cafe, shall drop by some other time to take a look.

I realised " If not all my hair drop" this sentence have been a very "family" sentence linc always use. hahaha I swear, if not all my hair drop. Hahhaa Look like linc staffs are very afraid of their hair dropping. Hahha I just find it very funny. N its only for amk linc k! HAHA! Insisted...tsk..haha

Went to my grandma house today. I was like disturbing her when we are having our dinner:) She ate lesser rice then me can:( make me feel like a pig anyway...zz Hahaha so i was like asking my grandma..

Me: Ah ma! diet ah?

Ah ma: Kok your head ah! Diet for what la!

Me: Then why you eating so little today?

Ah ma: Cos i don't feel like eating more lo.

Me: -_-" zzzz Okk..

What a nice ans rite!! hahaha Super cute. Love her to the max :)

2009-03-13T01:29:00.002+08:00

Si j'étais d'utiliser des traductions pour les mots que je tape, alors ceci est quelque chose que je pas voudrai n'importe qui savoir.

Penser à cette relation passée, vous et j'ai duré depuis deux ans. Tout était bien au départ. Quand j'étais à Taïwan, les lettres que vous avez écrite à moi.. Le jour par le jour, ils touchaient si, bel et significatif. J'ai gardé les lettres parce que cela est le seul temps que je sens si aimé par vous. Vous êtes l'ange et pourtant le diable. Les querelles que nous avons eues, les mots que vous avez dit... Comment je souhaite que je pourrais le bloquer de mon cos d'esprit c'est vraiment un cauchemar. Je n'ai jamais compté cet être phobie si sérieuse que la causée dans ma vie maintenant.

Je sais la sensation d'iam, je sais ce que continue mais d'une manière ou d'une autre je lui ai refusé. Il y a juste trop de raisons pourquoi je dois et pourquoi je ne dois pas. Quelques-uns disent, juste aller pour lui parce que si vous avez ne va jamais pour lui, vous ne saurez pas quel est la fin va à est comme. Mais si je vais vraiment pour lui, son juste comme marcher dans le trou de nouveau. Pourquoi c'est toujours pour devoir m'essaie la première fois ? Et même si j'ai essayé, le résultat ne peut pas être que je veux. Donc j'ai décidé de renoncer.

Renoncer est une chose mais une sensations et un coups manqués sont une autre chose. Ceci est l'étape que j'ai détestée la plus à cause de toute la douleur insupportable que je dois porter indépendamment de. De cos, l'autre parti aura beaucoup plus de bonheur que je fais parce qu'elle ne sait pas même ce que continuant et l'histoire s'est achevée juste sans a de la signature de l'auteur dessus. Cela est pourquoi... la pensée d'iam, je suis pourquoi si bête pour tomber pour lui encore. La période insupportable de douleur.

Je n'a pas obtenu de raison pour se fâcher, je n'a pas obtenu de raison pour obtenir jaloux mais iam sentant cette façon. Iam désolé.

S'il y a un hasard..

Peux-j'être votre médecin quand vous êtes malade ?

Peux-j'être votre infirmière pour s'occuper de vous ?

Peux-j'être votre chef de cuisine quand vous avez faim ?

Peux-j'être votre clown quand vous êtes triste ?

Peux-j'être votre intérêt quand vous vous ennuyez ?

Peux-j'être votre ami pour vous aimer ?

Peux-j'être votre amie pour qui aimer vous êtes ?

Au-delà de...

Peux-j'avoir une chance à avoir une danse avec vous pour toute ma vie ?

Je pouvoir ?
____________________________________________________________________

Kelly Chen - Love Paradise (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ikTLTvtV1M)

You're always on my mind
All day just all the time
You're everything to me
Brightest star to let me see
You touch me in my dreams
We kiss in every scene
I pray to be with you through rain and shiny days

I'll love you till I die
Deep as sea
Wide as sky
The beauty of our love paints rainbows
Everywhere we go
Need you all my life
You're my hope
You're my pride
In your arms I find my heaven
In your eyes my sea and sky
May life our love paradise

You're always on my mind
All day just all the time
You're everything to me
Brightest star to let me see
You touch me in my dreams
We kiss in every scene
I pray to be with you through rain and shiny days

I'll love you till I die
Deep as sea
Wide as sky
The beauty of our love paints rainbows
Everywhere we go
Need you all my life
You're my hope
You're my pride
In your arms I find my heaven
In your eyes my sea and sky
May life our love paradise

I'll love you till I die
Deep as sea
Wide as sky
The beauty of our love paints rainbows
Everywhere we go
Need you all my life
You're my hope
You're my pride
In your arms I find my heaven
In your eyes my sea and sky
May life our love paradise

-END-

2009-03-12T02:02:00.003+08:00

Can't sleep.

Sleeping pill please.

Hui Hu Xi De Tong - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmZbWh2oUmY

Fang Dao Suo - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPmMQlSnJ5g

Shou Ni Ai Wo - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmPzXXl0Psc

2009-03-10T00:56:00.003+08:00

Went out with "Linc" today. And for your informations, ONLY amk linc. Haha! So bias right...but who cares! hahah! sound so bitch. Its all about fun and laughter! Play and eat for the whole day..oh! and shopping :)

Fun part was actually eating steamboat ah. Haha veg with the fish head inside..haha! just for scaring someone. But! her reactions wasn't that surprised..so! half failed.
Ps: Before i got attack, i need to get my linc broom @_@. Haha!

New lyrics by Jz :)

丑小鸭

丑陋的面具
失去了美丽的风景
像只丑小鸭
看不见天鹅的痕迹

浮现的阴影
总离我越来越近
泪漂浮在眼眶
表现的很没道理

给我一点答案与肯定
别让遍体鳞伤的我走下去

犹豫牵着我的人是你
爱不爱我的人也是你
别用伤害来成为一种证明
无法承受当个玩偶的自己
就让彼此的爱换一段友情
给你的呵护成温柔的回忆
去寻找一段属于自己的爱情

Ps: Hope you like it :0!

Ps: Just some kind of happiness.

And people, stop asking who, why, what to me! hahha :)

2009-03-07T02:25:00.000+08:00

Gastric pain :(

2009-03-06T17:24:00.003+08:00

Stay up till 5am with dean yesterday to chill. Went ktv..lols we sang for like 6hrs?! LOL..shiok can. then slack downstairs talking, dancing, singing, composing :) :) :) Miss the times where we always play pool and basketball like nobody business. Lols. The place where we use to slack alot. The tall building :) Take care bro!

Quite into a song recently. Stick with you :)

Do you feel like how i feel?

2009-03-05T02:56:00.003+08:00

Woo! yeah..3am now.. just finished writting my lyrics :) Although not very well written but...love it :)

心电感应

我淹盖了沉默
替你承受后果
减轻你的负担
让你好好的过

试着有些互动
好像都没通过
苦恼烦着的我
傻傻看你经过

怀念你对我的孩子气
想给你每天的好心情

能不能独占我们之间的距离
让我给你一段更美丽的感情
跟你分享着世界每一个夜景
等待着每一天太阳的升起
鼓起你现在所拥有的勇气
所有的心愿就不怕来不及

能不能独占我们之间的距离
让我给你一段更美丽的感情
不管风风雨雨让我们一起
聆听太平洋的安静与呼吸
珍惜此刻拥有的心电感应
大声的呐喊我有多喜欢你

:) :) :)

2009-03-05T01:16:00.003+08:00

I only game one round in mahjong just now! Lols.. WHY?! Hahha always one round :(

Anyway, Iam still eating grass now as iam still searching for jobs. I went to 3 recruit express. Lols..from raffles branch to orchard branch and today i went to tamp branch. -_-". Hope i got a job soon. Hmmm

Hahah bought 4 watches today. Lols..damn cool can. Just for wallet linc people and lols..sound like power rangers ah? Lols.. and when we bought it, we will like saying..next time we communicate through the watch -_-" i know its lame..but i laughed. Lols..

I got the urge to write lyrics again..but..no feel. Lols.. but i guess...sld be coming. That person deserve something :)

2009-03-04T01:37:00.003+08:00

Lols...Din really do anything for yesterday. Lols.. Met apple for doing farewell card on monday night. Lols..late night...zzz then went home at around 12 plus. Woke up around 9am yesterday because we wanna put the farewell card before joan reach the shop. LOL..me and apple was like super tired and we kept yawning and yawning. LOL but everything was good.

Stay at hub for the whole day to accompany joan..lols..but there's 2 hrs me and apple are not there because we went for movie! Lols..Kungfu Chef. LOL.. oh and! 2 kids was like fighting outside MJ and the older kids just punch and kick the younger boy. Bastard rite?!

Went to da bao pizza hut with joan, apple, april, amelia and veron for dinner then we just sat in the middle of the badminton court eating happily. LOL. After the dinner was true or dare session. LOL.. so scary can! Just don like when everyone look at me with alot of questions in their mind but true, they have alot to ask! hahha..phew~ lols..

With them was just fun fun fun... :)

And of cos, there's a new comer for wallet linc. Amelia! LOL..She's..hmmm i think she's very funny in the way that she talk. LOL..

And iam sick sick sick! sore throat, flu and cough. Damn rite? Still got two interviews tomorrow. I seriously don't feel like going to the one in tamp. It's freaking far.

2009-03-02T22:16:00.001+08:00

此刻的感想七上八下的。。也说不上是生气还是难过。

为什么每当人想要珍惜着某一样事情的时候，就会发生某一些事。。一些事让人感
到相当的失望。渐渐的，那个人还看得到希望吗？

在多努力的做一件事情，都不会受到那个肯定。不受肯定就算了，还听到一些不想
听见的话。为什么人就要那么现实呢？

2009-03-01T00:25:00.004+08:00

Tata!! Just reached home. Went to my long distance relative wedding just now. Lols i realised all wedding seems to be the same ah? Walk in with all the love songs played..bleh bleh bleh. And the MC for just now...hmmm boring. I heard people complained that they are being lame. Lols..

Alrite, my tagboard is currently out of order. Hahhaa..cool rite. Thanks to joan and huilin. They are actually chatting in my tagboard happily. LOL

Recently, when amk peeps have the free time, they will go arcade. LOL... For example..Joan and Auntie..

Went amk hub today. Lols..was fun la..discussing about dance, who have the strength to piggyback all tt. Joan surpised me @_@. LOL..she must be damn proud now. *Hor pretty?* hahha and she also must be damn happy now. Hahhahah!

And she thought she is very tall...

But actually...

Look at her leg! LOL

And apple, joan and me was playing true or dare today. Hahhaa Not bad..quite a fun game. LOL

2009-02-28T00:15:00.002+08:00

Feeling so week right now. Flu suddenly...shit..don tell me fever and sore throat coming :( but its like suddenly wan can. 2 hrs ago iam still jumping here and there, shouting here and there. Anyway, i went doctor today..for my eye. Lols..the doctor said beginning is like blueblack then will turn to red then green then yellow then jiu ok le. LOL look like i still have lots of steps to go through.

Anyway my interview for joyce didn't make it. Hmm super sad can when i receive the call. Shit.. I think i go be garang guni lo. Then sell all the old stuffs away. LOL

Anyway! Lols..nights peeps!

2009-02-26T00:18:00.005+08:00

Yeah..today is my dad birthday! :) Lols..first thing that came to my mind is that...i think all my family members are very heartless including myself. Haha..why? Because all of us forgotten that his birthday was today and i only got informed by my mum yesterday. But anyway, We celebrated by taking him for a nice dinner :) Thats all. Hahhaha.. i know..i know..i will buy him something when i got my first pay. I promise k. If not all my hair will drop. Hahhaa

Ok next! My right eye -_-". I bet if april see this she will be laughing like mad again. I bang onto linc shelf yesterday. Just directly...woo BANG! Thats it. People thought i went for a fight or something like that. At first its not painful..really not painful. But.. everything is different now. Bigger blueblack and stuffs. -_-" and people DON ask me how i got bang cos the whole thing is just so stupid. LOL.

AND! My friends said i look like a cartoon character. Lols.. a mouse with a round spect on -_-"

2009-02-21T01:35:00.006+08:00

Lols Iam like appearing in amk hub almost everyday. Lols.. Thanks to joan..lols..always full of tricks and excuses which makes me no reason not to turn up. Lols..But sometimes i do play cheat by turning up for...hmmm i think half an hr? lols.. and of cos, iam damn free too. Can you guys imagine i receive no calls from all the jobs that i applied?

N of cos~iam not the only person that turns up! Lols.. gorgeous! Lols..she never failed to entertain me :) Lols..she a damn hot girl. N! she's always in her own concert! Lols.. Woo! gorgeous man! N gorgeous is tall, nvm! your can see from the pic! tsk! LOL

Oh and..took a pic with a boy today because i think he's damn hot!.LOL

Not forgetting apple! Lols.. she's a busy girl. Studying most of the time. Although she can't really join us some days but never failed to update her about all our stuffs and jokes we talk about. Lols..No photos yet!

Alrite! Mahjong session tomorrow!

2009-02-20T00:00:00.002+08:00

Boiling water for my dad right now....ok..random. -_-"

Basically this few days was just repeating the same thing everyday.

So bored....job job soon.. :)

Jiayou!

2009-02-17T00:01:00.002+08:00

I feel that i seriously got alot of stress from my mum. Basically, she's making everyone so mad about her. My grandma, my aunt, my da sao and me. Her nagging can really kill people. Just by looking at her face...face only, people got irritated. Lots of people have been complaining about her to me..i feel so sick and tired. Imaging when i went to my aunt house, she said..ehh its not that i want to say about your mum but bleh bleh bleh. I went to my da sao house, my da sao said..eh your mum hor, very irritating leh! bleh bleh bleh. When i went to my grandma hs, she said...you mum got nothing better to do is it? bleh bleh bleh. Its all about your mum your mum and your mum.

Family have been saying...take your time to look for a job. Good jobs take times. No worries. My mum said...any job also will do la, economy now very bad, just do what you can do. Then i found a job and i explain hows the job going to work, she said i sound like a begger and she said i should look again and she scolded me she have never been saying for forcing me to anyhow look for a job and do what i can do. She hates me for introducing tuition teacher to my uncle's wife. She rank up the past again and again.

Anyway, i don't really like my mother's side family. No reason. Just don't like or basically the only reason is because they are my mum's side relatives. As your can see..not only people hates my mum, they hates her relatives too because of my mum. My da sao is one of the example. I can totally understand the feelings they are having. Its too over.. I want some peace to my ear. I hope she can stop nagging. Nightmares.

心感到不安。总觉得好像什么事情要发生似的。

2009-02-15T01:27:00.002+08:00

At first, i thought i will be crawling to one corner and that's it. That will be how i spend my valentine. But i was totally wrong wrong wrong. I got the most enjoyable valentine in my 21 years can :)

Now i realised, having a partner for a valentine is not that important anymore. Surpisingly, even last few years was not that enjoyable. Hehe went out with my friends today. The whole day was just about laughing, laughing and laughing. Actually, i was quite touch with what iam having now. Although my career is not stable at all, friends wise..iam sure they are much much more better. And iam living much better now from what iam living in the past. Lols.. Even if there's no friends to accompany me today, actually i feel rather more relax, no burden no everything, just me and my comfortable home :) Am i too tired from all those jobs stuffs? Lols

God is kind to me, i realised iam having more things then what i expected :)

Phew~...Laughing is happiness :)

2009-02-14T02:21:00.002+08:00

Hmmm actually i have the craving for the strawberry shortcake now. Iam hungry, hungry, hungry. Went sheena house for dinner because yesterday was her brother birthday :). Sheena's mum cook my favourite food! Ba Kut Teh:) Super nice can..super super nice. Then around 10 plus, we start gambling..haha i won some money. Good la, if not i got to eat grass soon. At least i can survive one more day :)

Today is valentine day! Haha..what kind of feelings should i be having now? Hmmm better than i expected :) Although i don't have things that i wanted now but come to think of it, i will be busy striving for a better start and i will show that i will be much much better, Much richer of cos :) And career matters to me most at this point of time but still, i won't neglect other things as well.

Hmmm 3 jobs in hands now.. which one...god..

Ps: God, if i choose the most tougher path, pls bless me with luck alrite? *high five* :)

2009-02-12T23:59:00.001+08:00

So lost..so tired. Everything just keep changing and changing. Change till i don't even know who iam, what am i looking for. Temper just like weather. When its raining, it can be as bad as having a whole day thunderstorm.

Lost in directions.

2009-02-08T04:46:00.002+08:00

4.45am now..phew~just reached home not long ago. Hmmm went mahjong just now. Lols..its fun ok. Kind of like addicted to it. Today is sunday and zoo told me iam off again. What the.. One more week of time and i must decide on which job iam going to go for it.

Nights peeps

2009-02-06T23:28:00.002+08:00

Job with fix income and CPF - Hmmm stable income every month. Same thing going on and on again. Safe but boring.

Job with commission based, no CPF and basic given only when the target is reach - Hmmm challenging..station in every places in singapore. You will get 1400 plus if 2 customers sign up from you each day. Teams work and motivations. Earn less or maybe none if no customers sign up from you.

So..which one will you choose? Face the fate or challenge it?

Everything and everything, Zean's being stupid every single day. She need to cycle all her stuffs away.

Ps : Portare via i miei sentimenti

2009-02-05T00:10:00.002+08:00

Just past twelve...time is like going slow recently. N i get more and more tired day by day. Getting sick too i guess?..or not enough sleep? Woke up pretty early these few days..because of jobs..searching and searching..interviewing and interviewing. So tired. Writting and Repeating the same thing almost everyday. -_-...so tired so tired.

And i realised marketing jobs is all about the same thing ya..and the directions they are going roughly the same too. Even the paper they asked us to fill in..lols..its the same. All about motivations. Nothing else. Tomorrow working in zoo :)

Nights

2009-02-02T00:43:00.003+08:00

I seriously don't understand why a person is down on his/her luck, it can be going down all the way. Even when you are relaxing at home, listening to the wonderful music, drinking cup of coffee then *beep beep* your hp shown a message then when you open up, Zzz your own day are being spoit by the stupid ah pek msg.

I just like the environment out there. Maybe there's political stuffs too but on the same time, there are animals surrounding too. Its a very different feelings from how we are living in the realistic world. Even how troubled you are, the moment you reached there..the sound of the animals, plants, nice decorations..you will feel that...arhh finally there's something different. So the feelings is just GOOD :)

Iam feeling so super guilty towards my dad can and i wanna thanks him for being such a super understanding father. I can totally understand how he feel. Imagine my kids have to start all over again in whatever she have to do and all this take times. For me, maybe a little mad but my dad came into my room with a smile on his face and gently say..its ok, always try again. I know its not your fault..take it easy and then, he took out some cash for me and say..this cash is the allowance for this week. * I feel soooo...love can!! and guilty! and AWWW, i wanna be his daughter for all my following life *

2009-01-31T02:00:00.006+08:00

Five days past for Chinese new year. So fast. Left ten more days and its over and everyone will be preparing for valentine. Can i volunteer to work on that day? Hmmm first time i feel so much into working. lols.

New year eve -

We got alot alot of food! And last few who leave the dining table was me, my bro and my uncle. Lols..every year is the same because we are just simply good in eating. Can that consider my talent? lols.

1st day of new year -

Visit my grandma house, then temple, then aunt house and finally..last stop will be my mother side relatives. But around night time i went back to my grandma house for gambling. Talking about gambling. I have never win money back since new year eve can.

2nd day of new year -

My er gu house :)

3rd day -

Went out for dinner with my family. One year once. Hmmm Finally dad's off days is over. Have to wait for next year. Poor thing :(

So basically, i spent my 3 days just like this and everything back to normal. Iam glad i work in the zoo right now. Cos it feel much better separating from the world. Animals are cute.

Ps : I covered myself with a blanket.